I love eating! Well who does not, everyone like to eat tasty food. Still, I do consider myself a foodie as I like to eat different genres of food all the time many a times at the cost of my pocket and at times at the cost of tummy. When I some dish that was alien to me so far, I am tempted beyond nature to sink my teeth in it. Although being a Northie my favorite is of course “Dal Makhani” & “Butter Chicken”. Many a times my food adventures become misadventures. Here I narrate one such incident that made me cry, literally.
One fine morning as I picked the morning newspaper from the doorstep, a leaflet fell through. It was the menu of a newly opened Hyderabadi restaurant in the vicinity of my home. A quick glance through the menu gave me an idea about the rates which were phenomenally reasonable. It only took me a couple of seconds to make up my mind to conquer this place in the afternoon with my fangs.
I reached the place in the middle of the afternoon and my first impression itself was bad. Standing for 5 min with no one to attend to the spices got to my head and I shouted. Seeing an angry customer at hand I was immediately ushered by one of the staff to a table. When I had come to the place I had thought of trying out the “briyani, there. But my foodie instincts insisted on trying something new this time. So I thought of trying something that was truly South Indian and distinct. We all have gad dosa idli, vada the typical south Indian delicacies. So I thought of trying the Andhra thali this time.
Well the order came and it included a big plate filled with rice and then the waiter came and put 1 spoonful of dal, vegetable, chutney and rasam and moved on. I was shocked, did he actually expect me to eat that humongous amount of rice with that much dal. I know southies can have a pound of rice with a cup of dal, but I not me. So I gave the waiter a bad stare and said “what do u expect me to do with this”. Well my experience so far was proving to be bad.
Anyways I started my meal and although not great I was munching through, 5 minutes down and I realized that the food was really spicy/hot. It also refreshed my memory that in Andhra they eat the most chili compared to the rest of India. Wow, how soon had I realized this fact. Still I though as I had paid for this so I might as well finish it, but with each bite it became more and more though. My eyes and my nose both were pouring down gallons of water and I was so embarrassed of my condition that I was keeping my head down so that the other people eating/relishing their food there did not see my pathetic condition.
I asked the waiter to get me a cola or a juice, but I guess it just wasn’t my day as he had none. So I had to be content with the luke warm water that he had kept on my table and risk jaundice. I thought of taking a break and to let the burning of my tongue die down and stated fiddling with my mobile and pretended I was doing something important and that’s why was ignoring my food. But misinterpreting my idleness the waiter thought that I wanted more supplements to finish my rice and poured dal and rasam in my plate.
It really wasn’t my day, with great reluctance I started of again cursing the very moment I had decided to come, cursing the entire clan of people who eat so much chili and finally cursing god for making me suffer. I took a couple of more bites and then decided I had had it, I could not endure this slow torture. So I suddenly got up and proceeded to the cashier leaving my food unfinished. When the cashier saw my face he was horrified, my eyes were bloodshot and watery, my nose was running and I looked like a actor in a opera doing a tragic scene of death and misery. Giving him no time to comment , I threw the money at his counter and dashed out to find the nearest sweet shop to douse the flames ignited in my mouth. The funny thing about this state is it makes you so helpless that you cant even talk.
So, this foodie experience turned out to be a disaster. I really wonder how that guy in “Man Vs Food “ does it, really respect that dude.
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